Connecting and Clicking is not about motivating someone, its about figuring out what their motivation is, and how to satisfy it.
If you understand the motivational drivers of human behavior, then you can gain ability to identify and engage these drivers in yourself and in your relationships.
Understand what motivates you and you can express yourself with more clarity and focus.*
Motivation comes down to how a person answers these fundamental questions:
"What's in it for me?"
"Why should I care?"
Identifying Motivation through responses:
Esteem
"Its a chance for me to be noticed by my professional peers."
"If I don't show up, my associates might assume I don't care about ..."
Values
"They're counting on me."
"I wouldn't want to let them down."
Challenge
"It's a real chance to learn from the top experts in the field!"
"I'd hate to miss something that would let others pass me by."
Feelings
"It would be fun!"
"I'd hate to miss all the fun."
How to Click with 6 Types of Motivation
1. Someone Motivated by Values:
Who: People motivated by strong sense of right and wrong, speak with conviction.
Tip: Bring up situation where you chose to do the right thing, even if it wasn't the most popular choice.
Phrases:
"You really should consider this..."
"It's only right that I talk to you..."
"It seems only fair that you hear me out..."
2. Someone Motivated by Reward:
Who: People motivated by Winning, Excited by Incentives, enjoy taking risks.
Tip: Talk about 'how rewarding it is to meet her', 'working together is a real win', 'both come out ahead'
Phrases:
"This conversation will benefit us both."
"We stand to gain a lot from this."
"Because I don't want you to miss out, we should get together."
"I didn't want to lose this chance to meet you."
3. Someone Motivated by Challenge:
Who: People who love to try, thrill of victory, "It is there, therefore I must." They display qualities of champions (Passion, Vision, Preparation, Goal-Setting, Planning, Mental and Physical Training, Perseverance, Courage and Integrity)
Tip: Talk about how you share his can-do spirit, how working together will lead to success, and how taking action now will ensure victory.
Phrases:
"This is our chance to meet this challenge head on."
"We will be triumphant!"
"Here's what we can do."
"We can't let this moment pass us by."
"We will not be defeated."
"You can only fail if you do not try."
"If I failed to introduce myself to you, I'd never forgive myself for letting the opportunity slip away."
4. Someone Motivated by Esteem:
Who: People who love reputation, fame, attention, recognition. They also give a lot of appreciation.
Tip: Find a way to let them be somebody, in your eyes, or in eyes of others. Ask them to share their wisdom. So that they feel special and worthwhile.
Phrases:
"Emily, you really are a true friend for listening."
"You will be famous."
"You will leave a lasting legacy of success."
5. Someone Motivated by Feelings:
Who: People who don't fit in other categories.
Tip: Speaking about feelings.
Phrases:
"It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Won't it feel good to get together?"
"I'm sure there is something we can do to ease the pain and frustration you've been going through."
6. Someone Motivated by Purpose:
Who: People who talk about the meaning of life, very driven by fulfillment and the desire to practice, preach and persist their why. Listen to the language of idealism, perfect world, how things ought to be.
Tip: Connect to their sense of purpose by talking about their idea of the ideal, and the values they bring to making that happen. The key is to talk about how things ought to be, why we are here, their big dreams and ambitions for making the world a better place.
Phrases:
"This is why we are here."
"Here's why what we're doing makes a difference."
"Everything has brought us to this moment..."
"This is where it all begins to count..."
"This is about producing a quality product."
"We're all about saving malnourished children."
With Admiration,
Willing Tan 陳威潾 & KC 江康晉
Be a Force for Good
Attract It! :)
